What is going on is that you are telling a Sacrifice Story. I know this because this is a story I have just healed (after 14 years of working at it!). So be gentle on yourself if this resonates. It's deep and has many layers which is why it can take time to completely heal.

Being in Sacrifice is giving without receiving
Do you recognise that you in a place of sacrifice to your family, friends or clients? Always giving to them, going out of your way to help but never getting appreciated or rewarded? If the answer is yes, then ask, after all the years of you being in sacrifice, how much better are they?

Chuck Spezzano says "Sacrifice is a psychological mistake in which we give but we don't receive. It's a role that compensates for feelings of failure, guilt and unworthiness. It hides competition and taking, and it attempts to lose now to win later."

1st Principle: Sacrifice is an attempt to pay off guilt
Its a place where you have gone into service which is more like slavery and stopped loving yourself. It can be a defense against a loss that we haven't recovered from. So we help other as a form of avoidance, so we don't have to feel that pain.

We can feel angry at others for failing us, so we feel we have to take on their role in the family. However deep down we believe we have failed them. This means we feel guilty. This is a family pattern that gets carried into adulthood.

In my family that was my mother, I felt she let my father down. So I took on the role of mother. I know I have a gift of nurturing others but if I do it as a role I won't receive.

2nd Principle: Sacrifice is afraid of the intimacy that brings equality
If you are telling a sacrifice story of losing so that others can win, you are creating an unequal relationship of loser/winner. If you lose, then sooner or later you'll seek revenge on the winner (this can be unconscious). Also the winner dislikes being with a loser, so after a while will dump them or bully them to take their place. Sacrifice is an excuse to stay small and hide. It's a nasty conspiracy and hides our real fear of taking the next step in our life and buries the gifts we need for our purpose.

When did it begin?
As a child we see our family in trouble, leave our centre and go to save them. The sacrifice that comes from leaving your centre is ineffective at least, and self-destructive at worst. The ego attempts to replace the bonding that is lost when you leave your centre with fusion - a blurring of your boundaries with another. This pattern then gets repeated in later years, and can be especially true for many healers and therapists. If you feel as if you have a weight on your shoulders it could be your pattern. You're carrying people. It's called The Atlas Syndrome, since Atlas carried the world on his shoulders.

Its important to know that there is no relationship that doesn't have an element of sacrifice in it. So how do we deal with it? The answer is we have to heal it.

Ask yourself, when was the first time you stepped off your centre and went into sacrifice? Another way of putting it is, when did you lose your power? To whom did you give it?

We keep recreating the family conspiracy for fear of screwing up, of failing. While we are distracted by trying to save our family we can't possibly live our purpose.

EXERCISE Centering technique
Ask yourself intuitively on a scale of 0 -100% how far off your centre you have become. (Our centre is a place of innocence, grace, and true value.  It is a place where we follow the guidance within.)

If you have moved off your centre 0-29% there was a level of illusion and mistaken responses in your life that occurred. 

From 30-79% off your centre, you went into higher and higher levels of sacrifice. 

From 80 to 99% off your centre, there were levels of self-destructiveness.

At 100%, or more, there was a death of a self or selves. This means that you are living a life that is so far off from your true self that it would be almost impossible to have success and happiness in your life.  

If you got even a small percentage off your centre in the womb, it would set up a self-destructive pattern. 

To heal the story
To remove your heartbreak, guilt, and self-destructive patterns, you must return to your centre. In the original situation where you lost your centre, ask for your their Higher Power, or your Higher Mind, to carry you back to your centre, along with the others in the situation. 

Coaching Session
If you find this difficult to do on your own, I offer powerful coaching sessions where you can get to the root of these shocks and traumas.  My fee is £70 for One Session however I also offer a Coaching Series of 6 for £300. If you decide to take this offer up you can do after the first session and pay the balance. Look at the Coaching Page for more info and a FREE 3 Card Reading.

A Workshop is the ideal place to have support and work through issues that can take years in traditional therapy. Click here for details of the next opportunity to heal your Sacrifice Story>

Chuck Spezzano has written a book and cards called 'The Conspiracy Pack'. Brilliant exercises to create a positive life. Only £6.99 see http://psychologyofvision-shop.com